Emi-chan took me to Robert Moses State Park by car! A fun plan to swim in the sea and have a BBQ. On the way, we bought some fresh vegetables at the farmers market, which was great! Yey!
By the way, a strange thing happened in the moment we set out. As you know, seat belts naturally have a sensor on the seat that has a certain weight on them, which recognizes this and emits a warning light or sound to remind you to fasten your belt. But there was no one in the back seat. . If this happens, we can’t leave! ? So, as soon as I tried putting on the seat belt on an empty seat. Everything was fine. Orin definitely wanted to accompany him to Long Beach, Jones Beach, and Fire Island, which he also has connections to. Emi and I both agree.
Surprising high waves due to a hurricane heading north off the coast! Scatter Orin’s ashes, in the moment, the raging waves carry Orin away. I have sprinkled his ashes on the beach several times so far, but now I have completely finished one of my tasks. The entire ocean has become Orin. I would like to thank Emi-chan with all of my heart for giving me(and Orin) such a wonderful day.
A statue of the Buddhist monk Kuya is known for having small statues of Buddhas emerging from his mouth. ~~~ The six Buddha statues represent Amitabha Buddha. Kuya was known for his tireless efforts to teach Buddhism by chanting, “I take refuge in Amitabha Buddha.” Kuya was active in the middle of the Heian period (794 to late 12th century) amid rampant plagues and a series of events such as earthquakes, flooding and uprisings by Taira no Masakado and Fujiwara no Sumitomo. The disasters especially afflicted the common people.
The Buddhist monk helped the poor and sick throughout his life, earning him the nickname “Ichi no Hijiri,” a saint living among the ordinary people. The standing statue, believed to be from the early Kamakura period (late 12th century to 1333), is only 117 centimeters tall, but its muscular appearance in a simple outfit so overwhelms many viewers that they cannot help but feel like standing straighter before it. ~~~~ by The Yomiuri Shimbun / 11:00 JST, April 13, 2022
I may have written it somewhere, but once upon a time, I had an incredibly wonderful dream; We are sitting in a tatami room with dozens of tatami mats where the sun shines through the shoji/paper screens. Before long, the shoji doors opened, and an old man entered with a smile on his face. He looks like he’s pulling an endless bug cage (?) in his hands. To be more precise, the insect cage has a string attached to the corner, and the old man came in while dragging a bundle of the string, and when he sat face to face with us, he sat down slowly, started talking to us.
『Whenever you do a good deed or say a good word, it will fly out of your mouth like a butterfly. My duty ( mission ?) is to collect the butterflies in these insect cages. 』
That’s all. Just that. After that dream, for some reason, I learned about the statue of Kuya Shonin. The manifestation of divinity into the world through the vocal cords. If Kotodama(spirit of words) transforms in this phenomenal world, isn’t it a very symbolic way of showing it?
The same spider that appeared at the edge of the kitchen sink for just one day, and disappeared suddenly that night, appears again! No matter how it look like, it doesn’t look like it’s nesting, and it’s hanging like Spider-Man? This time, diagonally above Orin’s shelf. A few days later, when I returned, it was nowhere to be found.
Recently, I received a leggings a kind of 2nd hands, and I casually looked at the maker’s tag, ( thinking of remodeling this leggings into a skirt). Is that it? “eye candy? ” This is what Orin used to call his art project like this. Orin’s art must have looked adorable in everyone’s eyes, and they were sweetly fascinated in everyone.
Orin is worried about me from somewhere, and he’s telling me like this, ‘Grandma/ ba~ya Sanae~, I / ji~ya am/is here, we’re together~’. But maybe it’s all just a fancy fantasy of mine. What I do know is that little by little, many things are peeling off, and “I pray for all happiness and gratitude for being able to fully live here and now.”
Earlier this year, I blogged a bit about our rubber tree named Tommy. Eight months later, something strange happened to Tommy. New leaves are coming out, so of course it should grow + grow taller, but for some reason we noticed this change around the end of July (?) I’ve written this many times, but due to the circumstances of our landlord, our apartment building is for sale, and we, who are only tenants, had no choice but to move.
If we moved to a semi-basement or something like that, Tommy’s head would reach the ceiling, or, he might be too high to fit in. Orin and I were worried, and we even discussed it. Did Tommy hear that?
Tommy thought it would be a problem if he was thrown away because of his height. One day, I’m pretty sure it’s probably sometime in August, the leaves are coming out as usual, but he doesn’t grow at all. In other words, Tommy’s growth seems to have stopped. So, we talked to Tommy; “No matter where we move, you will be with us. Please don’t worry.“
Is Tommy relieved to hear that? However, he never grows. “First of all, let me decide after wemove. If you put me in a place with a high ceiling, that’s fine, and if that’s not the case, I am okay to keep myself as small as it is.” Because! ! Tommy has already shrunk more than ten centimeters. Surely, plants also have lives and emotions, and there is no doubt that we can interact with them, but I have never met a plant that shows its feelings so honestly. Well, what are our expectations for Tommy after moving?
On June 14, 2022, when we returned to our suburban home, the sunset was beautiful, and Orin took a video through the window glass with his cell phone. I also took some video with a normal camera. Later, when editing, I noticed that something was flying at the same speed as the train (and over the Hudson River). It repeatedly disappeared and appeared until the northernmost point of Manhattan, and finally it disappeared in the sky (I mean, I couldn’t see it anymore). I picked up only that part and made that “something” into slow motion and edited the video again. Here it is.
On 14 June, 2022, we were going back to Newburgh by Metro North Hudson Line. Such so amazing beautiful sunset just started so Orin took scenery through the window by his cellular. After that, I made short video of the trip with PALM FICTION’s music. Thank you so much for SAYA and VIVIEN!
Surprisingly I found that an unknown something appears in the middle of the sky. Neither star nor plane. You can see it around 08:26 until 09:15. You can see a round light is flying while appearing and hiding.
When I enlarge it from freeze frames, the light sometimes splits and returns. Once I saw the same phenomenon when I was in the East Village in New York. At that time, it followed me to the Seneca subway station when we lived near there, and it climbed up softly and disappeared.
Recently, because of my needs I’ve been looking for things. Every time I move, I’m reducing my luggage, so most of my things now are not many boxes and bags, and the rest are thrown into the drawers. Though I don’t have many things, I can’t find what I need easily. It’s funny, while I’m going through things, I find something outrageous (again), and time stops at a little note. When I left Arizona, I was packing, and some of the boxes seemed to be unorganized, yet I guess I put them inside, and the first book that caught my eye when I opened a box was “Who is Malcolm X?” by Maroko Oji (real name is S.I.).
“The soul weighs just 50 grams.” ,,, This message is from a friend S.I who passed away in the year 2008, November.
Perhaps it was before 2001, I hurried to line up in the morning to put up a flier at a Japanese grocery store. Since the bulletin board has limited space, many people come early with their own ads and fliers. There was already the first person in front of me, that was S.I. He had a print of a political document film screening announcement, where we both introduced ourselves and looked at each other’s posters until the store opened. As for mine, it must have been the information about my acquaintance’s house sublet.
After that, I participated in the xx meetings, which been started by S.I. and his friends with the purpose of “discussing world problem issues”. Then we became estranged after a long time. Occasionally when I met him by chance, like a child of the Beatles, he was walking dashingly with a guitar on his back.
For the last few years he had been in and out of hospital, but he was fine. He often asked me to go Sushi store, “Sushi makes me feels healthy and good when I eat, so please buy them.” He also came to the gig of Orin’s country rock group F.o.K / Fist of Kindness, and they both talked about music theory.
For some reason he has no family. Finally he realized that he couldn’t leave the hospital anymore, one day his friends called me to clear up his room. S.I.’s desk, bookshelf, kitchen, storage, everything was in order, yet it was like a world of wabi-sabi/quiet & silent/loneliness. Probably it was a treatment for a bed bug while S.I. absence, the white powder sprinkled by the landlord accumulated, and everyone looked at each other for a moment. Things to leave for a separated family, things to give, things to put in a warehouse, things to send, things to dispose of, even though they are so neat and tidy, they are not tidied up at all. Luggage appears one after another. It seems to be S.I., he will never show his insight, but he seems to give a glimpse of each thought and life in a philanthropic manner.
At last we can see the end, and just carry them to warehouse by rental truck, so I was leaving. I was told that I should take anything that was left because they must throw things away, but then I can’t say that I want everything in the kitchen. S.I. was also a strong Macrobiotic follower, and definitely he was choosing the tableware, pot kettle, chopsticks and seasonings to be all organic! What is diet! Why did he get sick! I’m so sorry. A weight scale caught in my eyes, so I got it and went home.
Soon, one evening, when I was heading to the subway to visit him, I heard S.I.’s voice right behind me: Okay, Sanae-san, you don’t have to come. I’ll die soon.
The scale I received was good to use always, but no matter how I adjust it after a certain time, the needle is not always 0 and the 50g display is moving. That night, when I was disgusted and put it in the trash, S.I. appeared in my dream. He is very angry. “Why did you throw it away, the scale! Did I say that you forgot? I’ll tell you what you know after I die. The soul weighs 50 grams. I wanted to let you know that. “
Is that 50 grams staying on this earth due to gravity? In which dimension is the soul? Can it be regarded simply as energy? What about all living things, maybe only he himself weighs 50 grams? If S.I.’s soul/spirit still has his own personality, I’m hoping he’ll probably give an answer.
It’s not important that I stay near the hospital, so I go to Chinatown alone under the hot blue sky. I’ve done some necessary shopping, but I still have plenty of time to meet Orin. While choosing the shadow of the building, I walk north on 3rd Avenue with a cane in one hand.
When I go to New York, I can’t let go of the cane that “doesn’t fall” however, this time as well, I left the cane at the cash register so was told by the customers and the cashier “Hey you! You forgot!”— they pointed at my cane (lol). Somehow, the tension and luscious self-satisfaction that I had in New York long ago disappeared already. As well as the streets that run regularly like grid, helped by my memories and habits. Singing songs, vaguely chasing thoughts, wiping sweat, and “I wonder if this is what it means to get older” becomes somewhat interesting. I want to meet my favorite friends, but the return bus is waiting.
When I was thinking about Prince Rogers Nelson, I saw “Prince Street” in front of me. Houston Street, Stanton Street, Rivington Street, and Third Avenue/Bowery. This area is a proof of my existence at that time.
The loft where I lived for awhile soon became a luxury gallery, and today I passed by after a long time, where did the gallery go? The whole building is in the middle of a renovations.
Now it is a prime location where the price is soaring. The museums, restaurants and markets are lined up, and intersect with the memories of 20 years ago. At that time, the back of the loft was covered with dense vacant lots and shrubs, and stray dogs were barking. I saw fairies several times in the loft. I thought butterflies flying in the dark loft, which was already leaking and the floor was about to collapse. What? Not the butterflies but they were little fairies! !! ?? I’ve seen it multiple times.
What I asked the fairies at that time, also all of my appreciation and feeling of gratitude to a person who was the loft owner at that time – I sewed several eccentric funny clothings for him. Now these old clothings have turned the loft owner into a Cinderella Boy. It’s like a strange novel, but it’s a real story.
