Author: Sanae Maeda Buck

Bird’s – eye view

I thought I have to find time to return to myself. When I did, I imagine myself higher in the sky, in space, looking down on the earth. No matter how I looked at it, I saw (me) that I was trapped by all kinds of energy, such as earthly ideas, thoughts, and unnecessary information, and was running around in confusion.

( So strange! I was being tossed around too much, and I am not living in the present,,)

So I look down on myself from a highest and deepest sky. Then I had become like tiny dots and disappeared, and in the flood of atomic light, my mind is not empty, but filled with warm and eternal love.

俯瞰してみる

あたし、自分に戻る時間を見つけなきゃって思ったの。そうしたとき, あたしは天空高く宙空をゆったり羽を広げ、地上を俯瞰する鳥の気持ちになって あたし自身を眺めている、って想像する。どうもあたしは地上の観念,規則だの不要な情報 そうしたエネルギーに巻き込まれて 右往左往しているのを見つけたよ。

　（おかしいね？！あたしの大切な時をうっちゃって、全く今を生きてない、、）

そこであたしはもっと上空に もっと深い宇宙空間に向かって, そこからあたしを俯瞰する。渦巻く想念からとおく, あたしは小さな点になり 静謐な青い光に満たされて 心は暖かく、あたしは永遠の愛に満たされる。

The Template

The rugged, steep rocky mountains eventually weather and become rounded, and then transform into a single, flat, peaceful mountain or hills.

The way how these gentle hills became over the course of countless years is the template for everything.

— You remained young, but one day your physical shoulders became deformed and you began to breathe with difficulty.

Then you transform into a slightly older person, and you shed your no longer needed, weathered body and then, leave the world of templates behind.

わたしの、死別の悲しみを乗り越えて行く過程；テレパシー

「ちょっと！なんでまだキープしてんの、僕のセルラー？」わたしの心の世界にすむあなたが尋ねる。　　　　「だって、あんたが居なくなってしまったから、せめてあんたの分身だったセルラーを身近に持っていたいのよ。」　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　「僕が身体を持っていた時、」とあなたは話す、もちろんテレパシーで。　「僕はあらゆる　I T機器使いまくりだったよ。仕事とは言え、、あの頃、きみはいつも『今日はセルラーは無しよ。せめて散歩中の時だけでも』って言ってたよね、『楽しいことをやろうよ』って言ってたよね、、」　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　ふ〜む、　あなたの健康を守ろうと、小うるさく、電磁波機器から遠ざかれって言い続けたわたしも、もういない。　　その代わり、中性子とか陽子とかクオークとか、そんなふうに量子に還元されたあなたの魂、宙空の電磁波交流、こうしたテレパシー的会話は、いささか奇想天外すぎるかも？

One of my grieving processes : Telepathy

“Hey! Why are you still keeping my cellular phone?” he asks, living in my mind. “Because you’re gone, I want to at least have your cell phone close by.”

“When I had a body,” he says telepathically, of course. “I used all kinds of IT devices. Even for work,” “You always told me『No celler today! Especially when we’re taking a walk 』”, he continues, “You always said『 Let’s do something fun! 』”.

Hmm, I’m no longer the person who nagged him to stay away from electromagnetic devices to protect his health.

Instead, having a telepathic conversations with his soul, reduced to quantum like neutrons, protons, and quarks, is just too fantastic…. Too out of the blue, right?

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晩秋のブルックリン植物園をKと訪れた。ほぼ紅葉の始まった園内で、いく種類かのバラが陽光に顔を向け、健気に咲き揃っていたのが印象的だった。　先日は祥子マッサージ。本当にありがたい。砂糖断ちをしてからの心身の変化や近況報告などで楽しく会話が弾んだ。それとですね、思ったより長引いたが右肋骨の打撲もほぼ回復してきたし、久々に活元体操に出かけた。ほぼ３ヶ月、右側をかばってきたのでとてつもない歪みに我ながら驚きました。あ, それとですね、ドキュメンタリーフィルム・スクリーニング。残念ながらやんごとなき所用のため早めに失礼せざるを得ず、ミスしました。。

I visited the Brooklyn Botanical Garden with K in late autumn. In the garden, where the leaves have almost started to turn red, it was striking to see several kinds of roses blooming bravely, facing the sunlight. The other day, I had a massage therapy at Shoko’ studio. I’m really grateful. We had a fun conversation about the changes in my mind and body since I stopped eating sugar (or sugary snacks, sweets) and about recent updates. Also, although it took longer than I thought, the bruise on my right rib has almost healed, and I went out Katsugen exercises for the first time in a while. I had been protecting my right side for almost three months, so I was surprised at how much it was distorted. Oh, I missed to watch *the documentary film screening, hopefully I will be able to see it someday.

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*”Pale Blue Dot When You Smile..” / This film explores the essence of life and soul through the reflection of water, borrowing insights from Shintoism and scientific studies.