最近から病室がホスピスに変わった旧友のY-さん。致命的ではないと聞くが、ひっそりと静かに寿命の終焉に近づく彼女に、あたしは束の間、寄り添うことで彼女の全世界を共有する。
My dear friend Y-san’s hospital room has recently been turned into a hospice. I hear that her situation is not fatal, but she is quietly and silently approaching the end of her life. For a brief moment, I share her whole world by staying close to her.
活元（整体）の今年最後のクラスに参加。もう引っ越しを考えてるのに部屋の模様替え。居る間はあたしが気分よく過ごしたいものね。多分この疲れ？でどうも風邪をひいたらしい。38.5度C、低体温のあたしにはありがたきショック療法、身体の全細胞を活性化→免疫力を蘇らせ→（ま、伏せっていたのですが）新年を迎えようって魂胆。そうだ、Tちゃんと スミさんの 突飛スタジオ(<-クリック) に出かけ、素敵な腕輪を購入。（溶岩が素材なので、何か地球と交信しているよう）Jにカリンバを教わったり、マットとリズのクリスマスディナーパーティに参加。
I attended the last class of the year at Katsugen (chiropractic). I’m thinking of moving, but I’m redecorating my room. I want to feel good while I’m here, anyway. Maybe it’s because of this fatigue? I caught a cold. My temperature was 38.5C degrees, and I was hypothermic, so this was a welcome shock therapy for me, activating all the cells in my body → reviving my immune system → (well, I’d been keeping it a secret laying down) my intention to welcome the new year. Oh, by the way, I went to Sumi-san’s Toppi Studio (<-click) with T-chan, and bought a nice bracelet. (It’s made of lava, so it seems to be communicating with the earth somehow.) I learned how to play the kalimba from J, and also attended Matt and Liz’s Christmas dinner party.
Bird’s – eye view
I thought I have to find time to return to myself. When I did, I imagine myself higher in the sky, in space, looking down on the earth. No matter how I looked at it, I saw (me) that I was trapped by all kinds of energy, such as earthly ideas, thoughts, and unnecessary information, and was running around in confusion.
( So strange! I was being tossed around too much, and I am not living in the present,,)
So I look down on myself from a highest and deepest sky. Then I had become like tiny dots and disappeared, and in the flood of atomic light, my mind is not empty, but filled with warm and eternal love.
俯瞰してみる
あたし、自分に戻る時間を見つけなきゃって思ったの。そうしたとき, あたしは天空高く宙空をゆったり羽を広げ、地上を俯瞰する鳥の気持ちになって あたし自身を眺めている、って想像する。どうもあたしは地上の観念,規則だの不要な情報 そうしたエネルギーに巻き込まれて 右往左往しているのを見つけたよ。
（おかしいね？！あたしの大切な時をうっちゃって、全く今を生きてない、、）
そこであたしはもっと上空に もっと深い宇宙空間に向かって, そこからあたしを俯瞰する。渦巻く想念からとおく, あたしは小さな点になり 静謐な青い光に満たされて 心は暖かく、あたしは永遠の愛に満たされる。
The Template
The rugged, steep rocky mountains eventually weather and become rounded, and then transform into a single, flat, peaceful mountain or hills.
The way how these gentle hills became over the course of countless years is the template for everything.
— You remained young, but one day your physical shoulders became deformed and you began to breathe with difficulty.
Then you transform into a slightly older person, and you shed your no longer needed, weathered body and then, leave the world of templates behind.
大抵は、ハロウイーンが過ぎて感謝祭の休日が巡って来ると、これまでのあたしの頭ではもう今年もさよなら〜と言う図式なんですが、何か全てから距離が感じられてきている。ま、「今ここ」を意識してやって行けばあたしの寿命のお終いに遅かれ早かれ辿り着くのだよ、と言う明快さが大きくなってるかな。
11月下旬は、病院に面会、Eちゃん達とブルックリンのヒストリカルハウス探訪、オリンの月命日は21回！, Jとカリンバ練習、M ＆Cさんお宅にて感謝祭を過ごしました。また、懐かしく嬉しい、あたしの（嘘っこの）娘と孫ちゃん！！（気持ちはあたしのファミリー）に久々にゆっくり会いましたよー。
Usually, when Halloween passed and Thanksgiving came around, in my head, it’s already goodbye for this year, but I’m starting to feel a distance from everything. Well, I guess it’s becoming clearer that if I keep being conscious of the here and now, I’ll reach the end of my life sooner or later.
