September 2023 – OnsaPlanet

オリン大喜び、えみちゃんありがとう：Orin is very happy, thank you Emi-chan

2023-09-182023-09-20Sanae Maeda BuckFantastic People & Friends, Life With Jiiya/Orin, Remarkable Experiences & Dreams

えみちゃんが車で、あたしをロバート・モセス・ステートパークに連れて行ってくれた！　海で泳いでバーベキューも、と楽しい計画。途中、ファーマーズマーケットで野菜も仕入れ、いえいー！

ところで、出がけの一瞬に不思議なことがあった。ご存知のように、シートベルトは当然ある重量のかかった座席のセンサーがそれを認知し、ベルト装着を促す警告灯〜警告音を発する、のですが誰もいない後部座席なのよ。。これじゃあ、あたし達は出発できない！？　それで、空っぽの座席のシートベルトを試しに装着した途端、全てOK。オリンにも所縁のあるロングビーチ〜ジョンズビーチ〜ファイアー・アイランド、オリンは絶対に同行したかったのだろう。えみちゃん共々納得。

沖をハリケーンが北上している関係で驚きの高波！オリンの灰を撒く。瞬く間に荒ぶる波がオリンを持ってゆく。これまでも数回に渡って海辺に撒いてきたけど、これで、、課題のひとつを完全に終えた。海は全てオリンになったよ。思わずこのような素晴らしい日をプレゼントしてくれたえみちゃんに心から感謝。

Emi-chan took me to Robert Moses State Park by car! A fun plan to swim in the sea and have a BBQ. On the way, we bought some fresh vegetables at the farmers market, which was great! Yey!

By the way, a strange thing happened in the moment we set out. As you know, seat belts naturally have a sensor on the seat that has a certain weight on them, which recognizes this and emits a warning light or sound to remind you to fasten your belt. But there was no one in the back seat. . If this happens, we can’t leave! ? So, as soon as I tried putting on the seat belt on an empty seat. Everything was fine. Orin definitely wanted to accompany him to Long Beach, Jones Beach, and Fire Island, which he also has connections to. Emi and I both agree.

Surprising high waves due to a hurricane heading north off the coast! Scatter Orin’s ashes, in the moment, the raging waves carry Orin away. I have sprinkled his ashes on the beach several times so far, but now I have completely finished one of my tasks. The entire ocean has become Orin. I would like to thank Emi-chan with all of my heart for giving me(and Orin) such a wonderful day.

引越しを決めたり、9月中旬のお出かけとか：Deciding to move and/or going out in mid-September

2023-09-162023-11-05Sanae Maeda BuckFantastic People & Friends, Performances and Events

不思議なご縁とタイミングで、4年経ってキューガーデンに引っ越しの運び。日の当たる場所に移ろうねーと、オリンの魂に誓ったその数時間後の出来事。今、あたしが居る地下室はオリンの機材の整頓で必要だったんだろう、広さがあったものね。ほぼクリアにして来たので、次に進みなさい！と背中を押されたのかな。

By a strange coincidence and timing, I decided to move to Kew Gardens in Queens after 4 years.
This happened a few hours after I vowed to Orin’s soul to move to a place where the sun shines.
The basement I’m in now was probably needed to organize Orin’s equipment, and it was spacious.
Now that it’s almost clear, let’s move on! I guess he pushed me on the back.

マット、デビッドと共に『赤い鳥小鳥』パフォーマンス：“Red Bird Little Bird” performance with Matt and David

一度は行こう、ジャパン・ビレッジ：Let’s go to Japan Village at least once

ここニューヨークで野口整体、そして活元をご指導くださった鈴木桜さんの５回目の命日。9月13日、懸念した雨も降らず柔かな薄日は、謙虚で穏やかな彼女の優しい人柄そのもの。

This is the 5th anniversary of the death of Sakura Suzuki, who taught Noguchi Chiropractic and Katsugen here in New York. On September 13th, there was no rain and it was a calm day, reflecting her humble, gentle personality.

クイーンズ植物園の桜ちゃんの樹：Sakura-chan tree at Queens Botanic Garden

諦めか、受容か。全ては夢幻？：Should I give up or accept it? Is it all a dream? My grieving process.　

2023-09-082023-09-08Sanae Maeda BuckLife With Jiiya/Orin, Myself

Tちゃんとのパフォーマンスの打ち合わせに出る。時間があったのでポート・オーソリティ・バスターミナルに向かう。この日曜日の忙しい時間帯、あり得ないんだけど、誰もいないゲートは異空間そのもの。ニューバーグでの３年間、ここは、Ο君とアタシが頻繁に利用したバス・ターミナル。もちろん、O君の治療や検査が主要事項だったけど、買い物や買い食いしたり、友人にちょこっと会ったり、帰りの座席の確保で早々と列に並んだり、。。。かつてO君は確かに居た・今はもう居ない、このあまりにも明白で唯一の絶対的現実は、アタシの世界観を変えてしまった。居ようが居まいが今ここ、この刹那の瞬間が全てなんだ。あたしの現実に折り合いを付けるんだよ。”有難う、いつも一緒だよ〜” がアタシとOの仮想現実の合言葉。こんな風に唱えると、なんとも言えない暖かさ、人智を超えた”愛”を感知する。

I went to a meeting with T-chan. (We’re going to do performance) Since I had time, I headed to the Port Authority Bus Terminal. Unusually at this busy time on a Sunday, but the empty gate feels like a different world.

During our three years & 3 months in Newburgh, this was the bus terminal that O and I used frequently. Of course, O’s treatments and tests/exams were the main focus, but there was also shopping, eating, briefly meeting friends, and lining up early to secure a seat. . .

O-kun was once there, but now he’s no longer here. This very clear, and only absolute reality has changed my inner worldview. Whether I’m here or not, this moment here and now is everything. I have to come to terms with my reality. “Thank you, we’ll always be together~” is the password of me and O in virtual reality. When I chant it like this, I feel an indescribable warmth, a love that goes beyond human comprehension.

珍しくだあれも居ない、だあれも並んでない：Unusually, no one is there, no one is lining up.

空っぽの椅子に見えるけど、かつてOとあたしは良く座ったもんだ：It looks like an empty chair, but O and I used to sit in it often.

出版記念講演会の打ち合わせということで、アタシとM子さんはロングアイランドのR氏宅に出かけた。ところで、O君の他界からこっち、もう半年も ”私たちのホンちゃん” をR氏に預けっぱなし。ホンタは、くつろいで伸び伸びしているように見えたし、アタシはちょいと（いつもなんですが）泣いてしまった。でも、思い切って再会を果たしたので心の底から吹っ切れた。あの時のホンタはもう過去形。優しい人に気に入られて、幸せな養子に出てね〜、って思う。

Ahead of the publication commemorative lecture, I and Ms. M went to Mr. R’s house on Bay Shore. By the way, Mr. R has been taking care of “our Hon-chan(our car once)” for half a year now since O passed away. Honta seemed relaxed and peaceful, and I was so nostalgic that I cried a little. However, since we achieved our long-awaited reunion、I was able to break free from my obsession with the fun memories of Honta, O, and me. Honta at that time is already in the past tense. I hope that he will be liked by a kind person and be adopted happily.

帰る途中、R氏の案内でアタシたちは海風を堪能し、O君の灰も撒いてきた。少し遠いけど、ファイヤー・アイランドも灯台も見える。このところ、O君と居たアタシ、をなぞりながら、O君の居ないアタシ、に日常を変換。少しずつ、少しずつ。〜〜このアタシの時空間を共有してくださる万物に感謝。

On the way back, Mr. R guided us and we enjoyed the sea breeze, and I also scattered O’s ashes. Although it’s a little far away, you can see Fire Island and the lighthouse. Lately, I’ve been tracing the person I was with O and transforming my daily life into the person I am without O. Little by little, little by little. ~~Thank you to all things that share this time and space with me.